It has been just over three days since our daughter arrived and I am writing this while Alice and she are sleeping in the nursery. The whirlwind we've experienced since Tuesday has been exciting, life-altering and... reassuring. That last adjective may be surprising and it is the one I want to focus on for this post.
I don't know how often child birth is described as reassuring but that word very much applies to the last five days of our lives. This occurred in many forms but can be summed up in the example shown in Figure 1.
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| Figure 1: Homo sapiens arminius greets his new housemate |
The above photo is merely one example- albeit an important one- of what Alice and I are so excited about. Our families live hundreds of miles away from us and that creates a gap in our lives. There are important ways to close that gap: the strong friendships we've developed far & wide but [most critically in today's example] mainly here in town. Figures 2 through 7 further reiterate this point. To be sure, the below are perfect examples but there are many, many more not represented in these figures. We are lucky to be able to write that.
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| Figure 2: The Clare Family |
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| Figure 3: The Kumar-Vatsals |
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| Figure 4: Ain't Nuthin But a Piet Thang |
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| Figure 5: Reken & Jessica |
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| Figure 6a: Some of the Kammers |
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| Figure 6b: The other Kammers |
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| Figure 7: Sergiooooooo! |
The promise of parenthood has cast new perspectives on all of our friendships but in particular it's illuminated the benefits of the ones here in town. It is those friendships that constantly reassure us. I don't want to break out once again into my It Takes a Village knock off speech but I will tread perilously close.
It's not that I think it takes a village of trusted friends to raise a kid. It's that if you are lucky enough to live in that village you can really add value & warmth to your parenting experience. My childhood knew of the absence of that. We grew up not knowing our neighbors and not have those extended quality relationships that other families had.
The transition from that absence to now what can only be described as an over-abundance of warmth from friends here in Portland & elsewhere began to strengthen my resolve to be the best dad I could be long before Wednesday's result. And now that she's here the benefits I continue to collect will increase exponentially. It's in the advice people give us. It's in the time they share. It's in the unspoken but understood commitment to a social group that every friendship inevitably gets defined by as it becomes a reality.
As I jump off my soap box I want to state clearly that the friendships are not an insurance policy against me turning into a deadbeat or detached father. That needs to start in my own head and heart and will be a constant cycle of introspection. Maybe I can best sum up what I'm trying to say with these final sentences.
The overwhelming support we've gotten from our friendships in these last few days has made all the difference. These already proud parents are humbled, grateful and ready to raise our daughter in a warm & enriching world these friends have helped us create. Thanks for reassuring us & building up our confidence to take this on.
I will drop the second & final post on Monday (7/13). There will be pictures.
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| My dad writes way too much. This post bored me. |
